I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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