At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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