I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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