i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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