so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
