He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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