super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think my mom watched the whole time
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
