I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's get the cat blown out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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