Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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