So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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