I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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