no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
