Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
