guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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