Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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