spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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