Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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