also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
