hotel room ftw
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
