i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
