idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
