Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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