The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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