Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
