I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
