Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
