You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He kissed a someone with a penis
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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