yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize