3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize