wat bout pragnant strippers??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
