I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize