you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
