They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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