so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
