I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
