I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
