Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
