I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
