I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
should my penis look like a turkey
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
