I'm sorry my penis didn't work
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
