Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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