Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
