She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Terrible idea I love it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
