He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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