I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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