In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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