I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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