Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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