Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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