And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
