a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
