Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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