They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
