We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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