I murdered the dance floor call the cops
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
